Seduction in Business
Since my TED talk came out, I have read many comments from people all around the world, attacking the combo of seduction and business, all coming out of misconceptions. So I’d like to dive a little deeper into this subject and clarify the meaning behind my message. Seduction is about creating an attraction and a desire. We do this by creating a pull, making the other side want what we have, even when the other side doesn’t know they want or need what we have. In reality, seduction is all around us. Consumerism is all about seduction. When you think about it, do we really need the latest phone that just came out? What’s wrong with the one we have? Or that fancy car with the impressive emblem? As a society, we get seduced into wanting more and more, even if we don’t really need it. Seduction in the following video is done through inspiration and touching the pain of losing one’s hearing due to old age – missing on the important moments in life. They promise to keep you connected even offer a free hearing test. They seduce you through caring for those in need to form an emotional bond with the brand. They uncovered this need through market research identifying the internal conversation the consumer has, and they are tapping into it and activating it. In my Bachelor of Business Administration degree, my advertising teacher used to show videos for us to define the target audience and identify their perceived need based on the ad.
Another good example of seduction is movie trailers. They give us just enough stimulation that we desire the full experience, creating curiosity and an appealing draw. This teaser motivates us to buy a ticket as soon as the movie comes out. They even release teasers, teasing us further. What they are doing is flirting with us, just like in dating.
Now, don’t fall into the cliché of marketing, seeing a half-naked woman and thinking “This is seduction.” It’s one type of seduction – sexual seduction – which has been overused in advertising for many decades.
Seduction can be primal.
It can also be classy.
It’s still sexual seduction. The problem is that we get stuck on sexual seduction as if it’s the only facet of seduction. Because of this, we miss seeing seduction all around us in so many other forms.
On the other hand, have you ever seen an ad where something was presented and implied, yet it wasn’t fully stated, and it caught your eye and/or heart?
This is also seduction. You are given just enough, waking up the desire in you to want to know more…Your curiosity and playfulness are awakened. This successful campaign was for Playland in Vancouver, Canada. It intrigued many people around the city when it came out. It caught everyone’s attention. When we hear someone is using seduction in their professional life, we assume that this means they are sleeping their way to the top. But in reality, there is a different form of seduction at work – our Social Charm. It’s that one thing in our personality that we are all born with, and as children, we used it to get what we wanted.. We melt the hearts of all the adults around us when we use it. It looks very different from person to person – being funny, cute, sexy, smart, authentic, etc. It’s unique to our personality. As grownups, if we do not shut it down as a result of cultural conditioning, it becomes part of our special sauce for success.
J.Lo, for example, uses her charm all the time. So let’s do a little exercise. Think of 3-4 nouns that describe her personality when she is in her element. Write them down, then do the same for Ellen DeGeneres (the results are at the bottom).
Like brand essence, we can capture our personality’s essence, our Social Charm, which makes people want to bond with us and be around us. We captivate others with it.
The thing that we need to understand is that, over the years, many people lose touch with their true nature, which is their differentiator for success.
This is exactly why I developed the 5 elements of Somatic Intelligence Method to help people live to their full potential and come back home in a profound way to their true nature and power.
Another area of seduction is sales.
Again, people tend to think of seduction in sales as a woman or a man seducing the other person sexually to get them to buy. This is another misconception.
Seduction is a connection we form with another, where we fully understand their need and fill it with what we have.
The best salespeople don’t talk as much as they ask; they ask great questions that lead you to feel your own pain and solve it for them with what they offer (that’s if they have what you need). They are just there to facilitate a deep conversation out of caring. Many salespeople who are very good at sales are also very charming.
Not too long ago I bought insurance for the appliances at my home. I was told a technician would come to treat the appliances for free. I agreed to it. When the guy arrived, he put some material in two of them and pushed the start button.
In reality, they could have just shipped it to me. But he started asking questions about my appliances and before you know it, he was writing a new order for insurance that I didn’t request or really need.
What was so charming about him was that it was like my dad asking me with care what I would do if this one broke or that one broke. He knew exactly how to get to my heart. I actually had to argue with him to cancel what he wrote and only added one thing instead of five.
When he left it blew me away how seductive this was. There was no need, no desire, yet by the time he left, I felt the need for his service. Genius! (Note, this had nothing to do with his looks, but purely his Social Charm).
And finally, negotiations. Negotiations are a game of trying to find the overlap between two sides’ range, where a deal could be struck. But it’s not just about the range, it’s also about how you carry yourself, how much you show your cards, what surprise cards you hold, and how you play with timing, like a comedian who needs to give the right punchline at the right time.
Have you ever met someone that didn’t feel like an open book? You couldn’t fully understand them but you saw enough to get you curious. That’s seductive and intriguing. It creates curiosity and desire.
And finally, one very important distinction I’d like to make is the difference between pure seduction and manipulation.
The difference is in the intention. One is intending to take something away without consent while leaving the other person feeling used, the other has the intention of an authentic connection leaving the other person feeling empowered and full.
This is why seduction has gotten such a bad reputation over the years – because it’s been misused by so many people and organizations.
Seduction has been presented over the years in a single way, but seduction is all around us in many beautiful ways. We just need to pay attention and learn what we can do with this energy/power to propel success while operating with ethics, loyalty, and integrity.
One final tip. When we tap into the energy of seduction, as if we are seducing someone, and feel it somatically – through the body – we can use this energy as a life force to guide us towards the next steps, feeling it intuitively.
It can lead us to the success we desire because we feel our own power. When we feel our seductive power in an embodied way, we feel more confident. The trick is to learn how to use this power for good.
What other examples of seduction do you see all around you?
** Results: J.Lo = strong, sexy, feminine, and playful. Ellen = funny, authentic, boyish, and childlike. And if you scrolled down to see the results, you’ve just been seduced!
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